Old Habits Don't Die... They Simply... Well, They Just Don't Die

Staring at the monitor for a half of a day isn't a good way to spend your waking hours, is it?  There's more to sore, dry and tired eyes that it brings - it is the feeling that you haven't done anything worth the while.  Unless you are being paid to stare at the computer which is probably impossible, I think there's no personal satisfaction in that.  Well, again, that a different story if you enjoy looking at your monitor simply staring blankly at you.

Old habits, same, old habits.  Just when you think you're finally over them, they'll just come back creeping silently into your world.  Habits could be both good and bad.

Good habits include daily reading of your Bible, daily exercise, saving a certain portion of your income, choosing healthy foods and the likes.  Bad habits include, among others, unhealthy midnight snacks, gossips, laziness, impulsive buying, procrastination and many more.

For the purpose of this article, let us talk about the "bad habits."

Bad habits are like some annoying weeds on you yard, no matter how many times you've cut them, they'll just grow even more, suffocating the flowers and eventually killing them.  Uproot them! Uproot them, I say!  Great if you can do that to your old-bad-habits.

Unless you take old habits out from the roots, they will just keep on coming back.  Always worse than before.

But uprooting them doesn't seem to be way too easy, right?  So what do you do then?  Discipline.

Discipline yourself into fighting bad habits with good ones.  You can't just wake up one day and say that all your bad habits are gone.  I don't think so.  Trust me, I've done that many times before and yet, those old habits just keep coming back.  So what do you do then.  Commit yourself to the daily grind.  Take that painful step of saying "NO" to what were once blissful and easy activities. Admit it, you find it more fun and easy doing your bad habits than the good ones.  

Join me in this journey as we wage war against this old-bad-habits of ours.  It doesn't matter if your bad habits are the same with my bad habits or not.  Let's do this simple and general approach.  Customize it to fit your needs.

Ready?  Here goes...

1. Commit to yourself that you are putting an end to your bad habits - starting NOW!  Yes, it should be NOW, as in right NOW. In this instant, as you are reading this post. Why?  Because that's commitment.  If you don't do this first step NOW, then you aren't really committed.  Or maybe, you are just aren't that serious to shake off that habit.
2. Write it in a piece of paper and read it when you wake up and before you sleep.  Do you remember when you were still a child your parents used to teach you a prayer usually at night, just before you go to bed?  Remember that?  I don't know how you would explain it but the prayers you say at night seems to stick in to your mind more than the prayers you heard or say during day time.  Haven't you noticed that?  Or is it just me?  Anyway, give it a try and see for yourself.  Also, when you prepare for an exam, you review your materials at night, right?  With the hope that maybe you'll get the chance to remember more.  And most of the time it works, agree?  Well, consider your battle against your bad habits as part of your prayer and an exam you have to pass as well.  Prepare at night, before you sleep, and remind yourself when you wake up as you went your way into the day.  
3. Remind yourself that no matter how bad your habits maybe, it isn't you.  Your habits are just part of your being but it isn't you.  It's just like your favorite dress that you love to wear.  You can always change it and you still have yourself.  
4. Think of all the wonderful things that I could bring if you have totally subdued your bad habits.  Also, I don't know what's in it if you imagine the outcome of something.  For example, you want to see a movie and you believe that you'll gonna enjoy it.  Isn't it true that even before you buy your ticket you already feel the excitement and joy?  And the more excited you are, the unstoppable you become.  Be excited about the NEW YOU and be unstoppable. 
5. Commit everything to GOD.  You can do all the first four but that will be futile if you are not clinging on the right rope.  It is like like being in a boat and rowing to death but towards the opposite the current.  USELESS.  So before you proceed any further, remember the basic: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, on your own intelligence rely not; In all your ways be mindful of him, and hi will make straight your path (Proverbs 3:5-6)"  Let God show you the way!

I hope that with those steps, I have helped you in your fight with your bad habits. So there, don't let those bad habits take the greatness that awaits you in your life.  ADD MORE GOOD HABITS and BE MORE!  Habit can only be destroyed by another habit.  So make it a habit of Living the Good Life!


To a new and better you!

J. Roy
Author of "The Five Successful Ways to Fail (Things You Weren't Told About Success)"


P.S.  One day on my way home from the office, I asked myself, "why do you keep on writing even if your readers don't increase in numbers?  What do you get from writing?  You haven't even earn anything from it?"  Well my answers are these: One, "why should I not write?"  And two, I think it is not what I get from it that matters, but rather, what am I able to share through it.

Or maybe... just out of an old habit!

YOU COMPLicaTE ME

Now, that doesn't look too original, does it?  Yep, more like the famous line by Tom Cruise from the movie Jerry Maguire.

Alright! First, let me ask you a very simple question.  Will you please explain this:  E=mc2.

Whoa! Don't ask me to do the explaining for you. If you want, check it out on wikipedia or check out the book Relativity: The Special and General Theory by Albert Einstein.  I think it came from that book.  Whatever you chose, don't you look at me and ask me to explain it for you.

"Okay, what's the point?"

Here's the point my friend.  That equation seems to be too simple.  Yes, it appears to be so.  Agree? But, it has baffled the minds of countless scientists of modern time.  Many have tried to disprove it and failed.  That simple equation solved many of mankind's greatest problems and it is still solving even more until now.

What I am trying to say is this.  Solutions to our problems need not be too complicated.  Sometimes, the answer we've been looking for is too simple that we couldn't believe that it is true.  To make my point clear, let's have an illustration.

"What's my life purpose?" You say.

Well, that's a pretty tough question.

I don't think I can answer that in here.  But to simplify my answer, here it is:  "Try GOD."  Yep! Six letters.  That's all there is.  That's all I can say.  That's all we need.  Don't ask me for your purpose in life.  Ask God.  He puts in you here, He must know the reason why.  Why do you like to complicate things looking all by yourself for the answers to your existence?  Have you tried asking Him? Seriously, did you?  If God doesn't seem to answer, maybe you haven't asked seriously.  If you'll keep trying to find the answer to that question of yours, well, I've got news for you.  Before you find it, you will have no more time to spend on that purpose.  So try God.  It will make your life easier and your answers faster.  For some, the answers come in an instant.  For others, a longer period of time.  Here's the thing,  aren't you complaining about life's too many problems already?  So why burden yourself on something you could ask God to answer for you.

I don't have the answers to life's questions.  But I know Someone who can.  And I just told you about Him a while ago.

I've often said that I am a fan of self-help philosophy.  It is reflected in the books I read and perhaps in the articles I write.  One day, not so long ago, I realized that I've been spending too much on too many books that takes too many hours to read and yet too little effect on me.  Then I saw this thick black book I have that has been gathering dusts for a long time.  I opened it and there in front of me were 73 books in one volume (for others, yours may have only 66, depending on the version you're holding).

Here it is, the best "God-Help Book" that I could ever need just being ignored.  Why?

"Because that'll be just too plain and simple.  It can't be the answer?! The answer to my life's questions, the solutions to my life's problems must be complex.  It can't be just as simple as reading the Bible!"  

There! Again, I failed! I can't accept that God is all I need. That simple. That plain.

How about you?  How long will you keep looking for complicated answers to your life's questions and problems?

***

I also have a book entitled, "All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten" by Robert Fulghum.  It's a gift from Rheena and it has been a long time since I've completed reading it (I guess I must re-read it).  

I want to share with you Fulghum's credo.  He said, 

"All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in Kindergarten.  Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sandpile at Sunday School.  These are the things I learned:

Share everything.Play fair.
Don't hit people.
 Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw some and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out into the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands, and stick together.
Wonder.  Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup:  The roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.
And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK."

 I didn't go to kindergarten but, I must say that it is indeed during those early part of our lives when we are still young and innocent and life is simple and plain that we learned a lot of things that get us through with life and it's problems.  But when we grow old, we think that our problems become complicated and the solutions should be complex as well.  Could be. But still, I wanna Live the Good Life and so my resolved is to live trying SIMPLICITY FIRST.

***

“Purity and simplicity are the two wings with which man soars above the earth and all temporary nature.” - Thomas Kempis

“Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.” - Leonardo Da Vinci

Over Qualified or Under Rated

If you are an employee, you would probably experienced being turned down from a job application even just for once.  If not, then congratulations.  But even so, this article is also for you, so read on.  

What's the usual feedback you get?  Generally it would be that you are "un" qualified for the job.  What else would the reason be?

So you asked yourself, unqualified because of what?  Either you are "over" or "under" but much the same "not" qualified. 

If you applied for a job and you were told that you under-qualified, good for you!  Why is that? Because it means you have the opportunity to improve some more. If your qualifications didn't match what they are looking for, it means you have to improve on those traits a little more.  Be More I say!

But if you overqualified, there goes your dilemma.  What would you do?  Apply to a higher posts or look for another opening.  Seems a pretty good idea.  But before you move in to that, let me ask you something.  Could it not be that you are overqualified because you "under rated" yourself?  You are applying for something lower than what is required of you.  In life, it is asking for something lesser than you deserve.

Let me repeat that.  Could it not be that you are overqualified because you UNDER RATED yourself - asking for something lesser than you really deserve?

Well, it boils down to this.  If you have no clear understanding of yourself and your abilities, chances are, you'll end up in the wrong path.  Not only in your search for work but in life as well. In any way, you must match your strength and character with the choices you make. If what you want seems too high for you, then raise the bar, Be More and reach for it.  There is no use in looking small on yourself.  If there are far greater things you can do or attain, don't make humility an excuse.  False humility makes no sense at all.  I don't think that it appeals to God either.  

So next time that you are tempted to go lower than what is expected of you or give lesser than what you can, think twice whether you are fulfilling your purpose.  

And one last piece of advice, don't settle for less because if feels good, comfortable and that is where most people are.  Rather, strive and then thrive to BE MORE and Live the Good Life!

***

Well, I am just expressing my thoughts, if you have another point of view, please feel free to share.  I welcome comments and constructive criticisms.  

Stick with Your Story

A job application turned down.  A project that never worked.  A diet that was never started.  A business that went south. A sweet life turned bitter.  A love that became hate.

"Why such a sad opening?"

Because we live in the world where "duality" of things and events prevails.  Life isn't always good.  We can't always have a good life, can we?  Well, as we have said before, to everything there is a season.  Let us just say that I just had my share of it no so long ago.

We are all aware that nothing is permanent in this world, even our jobs that we thought were stable enough to survive the tests of time.  We have seen corporate mergers and takeovers.  It's a world of "dog-eats-dog"  the "survival of the fittest."  And normally, it is the people who are the first ones to go.  We have heard of top honchos being kicked out of their offices.  What more could save a rank and file? So I said to myself, before that thing happens to me, I gotta be few steps ahead of it.

But what if, you've applied for a new job and you've been turned down not just once but a lot more?  Well, I know it's frustrating.  The world isn't just unfair, it's ruthless.

Once in our lives we experience helplessness and desperation (and the author of Live the Good Life is no exception).  In one of those low moments of my life thinking how I could be more successful in my career and how to augment the money I've been earning, I have resorted to all the self-help books I could grab, financial magazines, leadership books and business ideas.  I did not spare internet just to have ideas on how to earn more.   I was too fascinated with success stories of other people - people who get rich quick and people who earn money with virtually doing and investing nothing.  I thought my blogs could help me.  I put on adds and joined affiliate selling.  But so far, I have yet to earn my first dollar.  Then I get depressed even more.  I applied for another affiliate site and I was turned down for the following reasons:

"The website does not have enough link popularity"
"The website is submitting too many posts in a day"
"The website is not posting unique content"


What do all these things supposed to mean?  


Was all the time I've spent on reading and researching getting me no where?  Well, it seems to be heading that way.

In my desperation, I just wanted to isolate my self from the world.  Sometimes I would just blankly stare at something somewhere.  I longed for the moments when my head would just be still and quite.

Then it hit me.

It was staring at me for the longest time.  I haven't found my biggest "why" yet.

Do I want to be wealthy?  Yes, of course!  I believe that there's nothing wrong with being wealthy.  More so, I believe that there are more good things that I can do when I become wealthy.

But why?  So I can buy freedom of time to do the things that I wanted to do.  But why?  Because I want to spend more time with the people who matter to me the most?  But why?  Because I want to show to them how much I love them and how much I longed for the moments to spend my life with them without having to worry about where, when and how to get the money to spend.  But why?   Because at the end of my life story I want to be remembered by the very people I loved that I've lived my life for them.  But why?  Because it is my way of repaying the Lord, in my own simple ways, to give back to others the blessings He has given me - love, talent, time and treasures.  These are my big WHYs.

At the end of this journey, it won't matter how much I've succeeded, nor how many times I've tried and failed.  It won't matter how many streets they would name after me, or holidays after me, or books they would write about me.  It won't matter how much money I've made, how much I gave or how much I've kept.  At the end of this journey, what would matter would be how much I've complied with what was expected of me - loving with all the love I can give.  Being rich is just one of the many vehicles I can ride.  (We want to be rich not for the sake of being rich but for what we are becoming along the way.  This is the philosophy of we have at one of our new blog Pinoy Millionaires Circle.)    

Ahh... what a relief.  Just a while ago, I was about to bang my head on the wall because of the gloominess I've felt.  Now, I feel much better.  Is this the hour of "sweet-lemoning?"  Nope!  I don't think so.  I think the darkest part of the night just passed, that part of the night when the dawn is about to come.

Do I still feel down because after all the money and time I've invested on books and researches and yet the only source of my income is STILL my monthly salary?  Do I still feel sad because my blogs "aren't popular" and "without unique contents?"  YES!  I won't deny it because I can't and there's no need to.  But I can say now that it doesn't matter to me that much.  As long as there are people who read my posts and learn from it, even that be only a single person, I won't stop sharing my thoughts.  Whether I earn or not from my blogs, it doesn't matter.  What matters to me is the life that I could change because of what I share.

Maybe earning from blogging isn't for me.  Maybe my "luck" is yet to come.  But that's no excuse for me to stop acting on my dreams.  I think I'll just have to squeeze out some more ideas.  If there's such thing as "luck", i think it would be "being the right person at the right time, at the right place and FOR THE RIGHT REASON."  

Life doesn't always give us milk and honey. Sometimes, it throws us lemons.  And when it does, let's be thankful we now have another flavor for our drinks.

I believe in a greater future.  I believe in miracles and I believe that I am one.  I believe in Living the Good Life!  How about you? 

Trials, success, failures, joys, sadness... It's a roller coaster ride.  But this is my life.  This is my story.  And as inspirational speaker Les Brown would say, "This is my story and I'm sticking with it."

You Are Not An Exception

"Nobody has a more sacred obligation to obey the law than those who make the law." -Sophocles

 Let me ask you a very personal question today.  Why do you think you experience things going out of orders or simply not the way it's supposed to be?  Was it because of some external factors and the circumstances or was it because of our own actions?

I have been in this world for more than a quarter of a century and in my life and work experiences I've seen people who make and break their own laws.

You may have heard of lawmakers being sued or accused of graft and corrupt practices, business owners and executives being fired out for not following established rules and regulations, and companies going into bankruptcy because they violate the laws they are supposed to adhere to.

I don't have to go too far and cite as many example as I can.  All I have to do is just look in the mirror and there I'll see the living example of a man who makes and breaks his own law.

As humans, we know we have to abide to certain order of things.  But how do we really respond to this order?

Let's take the following examples for living a good life:

• Love and serve God
• Honor and love your parents 
• Treat others as you want to be treated
• Make new friends and keep the old ones 
• Eat healthy foods
• Exercise daily
• Get enough rest/sleep
• Read a good book
• Save
• Invest
• Work hard
• Pray harder

... and the list goes on and on.  These are just some of the laws or rules we set for ourselves but remain in the list and were never followed.  Most of the time, it is us, the person who are supposed to impose it, are the first ones to break it.

In every aspect our lives there are laws - in living a good life, in dealing with people, in dealing with our families, in running our businesses, and in our workspaces.  As many as the laws we have are the ways we do to circumvent it and make ourselves the exceptions.  

We know the laws.  The universal ones and the ones we make for ourselves.  But more often than not, we are the first ones who break it.  Then we ask why are things falling apart?  We ask why we don't get what we want.  The answer is simple - STOP BREAKING THE LAW.  You are not an exception to the law, even if you the one who makes them.  Because when you do, you are throwing away your self-respect.  

Remember what we've always said, Be More to Have More.  If you want more respect from others, learn to respect yourself more.  If you want a more orderly life, put more order in to your heart.

God said that the wage of sin is death.  That's His law.  There's no one above it, even His own Son Jesus.  Jesus died in the cross as a payment for sins.  Whose sins?  Mine.  Yours.  Ours.  Even God did not excused Him from His Law.  That's obedience.  That's dignity.  That's true honor.  That's leadership.  

If God did not spare Himself from the Law, who are we not to follow?  

May I ask you to do something?

Write down your personal laws, it could be ones you've already established or the ones you would like to implement into your life in the future.  Then, WILL YOU PLEASE STOP MAKING EXCUSES!  YOU ARE NOT AN EXCEPTION!  

It may seem that I am a little harsh this time.  That's because the message is not just for your, my reader, but for me as well.  

I encourage you to take time to think about this.  And in the process, may you learn to Live the Good Life.

"Lead, follow, or get out of the way." - Thomas Paine

Young at Heart

Happy New Year Everyone!

It may be late but still, I think I ought to greet each of you a very wonderful new year.  However, a few days ago, I mentioned in Facebook that we are too excited about new years and the new things it could bring us that sometimes we neglect the changes a new day brings.  So each day, why don't we greet ourselves a "happy new day?"

Normally, at every turn of the year, people started thinking about their age increasing.  Like me, every new years eve, I would always say, "It's year ___ now and I will be ____ years old by next month.  I have grown older by a year."

But the thing is, it is not always the number of years that adds to our lives that matter but the number of lives we've touched all those years.  

My New Year's wish for each of us, "may we find meaning in those years we've lived."

***

Earlier as I was preparing for dinner,  I played my Michael Buble album and for the first time, my attention was caught by the song "Young at Heart."  I believe that this song was an original by Frank Sinatra.  For those who happened not to know the song, here's the lyrics that I've got from the internet:

"Fairy tales can come true

It can happen to you if you're young at heart 

For it's hard, you will find

To be narrow of mind if you're young at heart 

You can go to extremes with impossible schemes

You can laugh when your dreams fall apart at the seams

And life gets more exciting with each passing day

And love is either in your heart or on the way

Don't you know that it's worth

Every treasure on earth to be young at heart

For as rich as you are

It's much better by far to be young at heart 

And if you should survive to a hundred and five

Look at all you'll derive out of bein' alive

And here is the best part, you have a head start

If you are among the very young at heart

And if you should survive to a hundred and five

Look at all you'll derive out of bein' alive

And here is the best part, you have a head start

If you are among the very young at heart" 

The very lines that made me stop with what I was doing are the lines that say,

Don't you know that it's worth

Every treasure on earth to be young at heart

For as rich as you are

It's much better by far to be young at heart

So my friends, instead of worrying about your age this new year, think that those are just numbers.  Material treasures matter, but it is much better by far to be young at heart.  So Dear Friends, feel young, feel the energy, feel good.  Live the Good Life.  

Take time to listen to good songs like this one and may you also find inspiration as you continue living the good life.

Happy New Day!